Living Untethered by Michael A. Singer

Author:Michael A. Singer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2022-03-25T17:15:53+00:00

Chapter 22.

Why the Heart Opens and Closes

If you want to know your heart, first and foremost understand that you are not your heart—you are the experiencer of your heart. You are the consciousness that is aware when emotions are taking place. When love shoots up inside of you, and you say you’re in love, what you really mean is that you feel love coming up from your heart and bathing you. You’re floating in the ocean of love, but you’re not the love you feel—you are the experiencer of the love you feel. Note that so far we haven’t considered the role of another person in this love experience. This is because what’s actually happening when you begin to feel love is your heart is opening and emanating a beautiful flow of energy. This should drive you to say, “I love love,” but instead you say, “I love you.” That is your first clue into the role of another person in your experience of love. As long as the other person’s presence helps your heart open, you feel love for them. If their presence stops opening your heart, you start looking elsewhere. This is why human relationships are so difficult. We project the source of love outside, instead of realizing it is always inside.

The actual flow of love has to do with you and your heart. It has nothing to do with anybody else. It is an energy flow coming through your heart that you experience inside. Undoubtedly, certain people or circumstances can cause your heart to open or close. But the action of opening and closing is something your heart is doing, not the other person. By the time we’re done with this discussion, you will understand why this happens. For now, let’s look at what happens if we don’t understand that love is a totally inner experience and we project that experience onto someone else.

The moment we project the source of love outside ourselves, everything becomes personal. We tend to become possessive, and that is only natural. We want to feel love and have projected the experience onto another person. To keep feeling the love, we have to keep the other person. The very human emotions of jealously, need, and dependency result from this. Likewise, if we are feeling the flow of love and our lover does something we don’t like, we feel closed and hurt. These are just other feelings that can emanate from the heart.

If you want to continue feeling love, you have to learn how to deal with emotions that open and close the heart. It’s like learning to play an instrument. At first, you don’t know how to do it. You’re going to make mistakes and learn from the experience. The heart is a very sophisticated instrument that few people know how to play. If the heart opens, they try to possess the things that helped it open. If the heart closes, they try to protect themselves from the things that caused it to close.

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